Friday, October 12, 2007

The Worst of the Worst!

Blender 'Zine's 50 worst songs ever.

They missed a couple.

Years ago Bernadette and I came up with The Elephant Gun Awards. Songs that were so annoying that the only way to put us and everybody out of our misery was to blast the song with an Elephant gun. And I ain't talkin' tranquilizer dart here. It's a song that more than irritates; it infuriates.

The runner up for the all-time EG award is Natalie Merchant for her insipid rendition of the great Springsteen-penned Patty Smith hit, "Because the Night". Whereas the original was stirring, fiery and soulful; indeed one of the great singles of its era, Merchant's remake was as limp and lifeless as a washed-up Cape Cod flounder. And as smelly. Some records are so great as to be untouchable, and that's one of them. Merchant brought nothing to the table on the remake. Except, as I said, a stinky dead fish.


And to think I liked the early 10,000 Maniacs. The gum on Patty Smith's shoe has more soul...

The number one hall-of-fame EG award goes to Supertramp. Not rock. Not even a local call from Rock. I don't even know the name of the song because I've never tolerated it long enough to hear it. It starts, "Take a look at my girlfriend, she's the only one I got...KABOOOOOOM!!!!

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